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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Our Little Love Story Part lll

As I have been counting down the days to our Anniversary I have pondered  relationships. Mostly ours, but relationships in general. Why do some last? Why do others not? Why do some seem so happy while others have the appearance of being merely room mates?  I don't know. I mean I know there are circumstances where the the sheer cruelty or betrayal by one, or even both ends a relationship, but  there are others that just slip away like the night slips away silently and mostly unnoticed as the sun returns to claim the day. Again, I don't know.
 I know what I value in a relationship. There are some key elements that I believe are required to maintain a relationship. In no particular order:
1. Trust. You must be able to trust your spouse. This is the one person in the whole world that you should be able to talk to, share your secrets, your fears. The one person that you should be able to count on to stand by you.
2. Honesty. You should be able to be honest with your spouse in all things. I don't mean brutal honesty that hurts their feelings, but honesty in concert with kindness.
3. Faithfulness. In mind, body and spirit. In choosing to share your life with this person, you also choose to keep yourself only for them.
4. Respect. We should show respect to every deserving person but to perhaps even more so to our spouse. They deserve to be respected as an individual even as you stand together as one.
5. Communication. You have to keep the lines of communication open. Talking openly and honestly is a must because none of us is mind readers.
6. Appreciation. Let them know you appreciate them and the things they do for you.
7. Compromise. You can always have every thing you want and everything doesn't always go your way.Be able to graciously compromise or let go.
8. Live, Laugh and Love!
9. Remember the "little" things - saying " I Love You" for no reason, compliment and praise your spouse. 

There are probably more. I don't think anyone has all the answers and the "experts" are as clueless as the rest of us. I think we do the best we can. I just know it all works hand in hand. Sometimes there will be more of one element than of the others and it's guaranteed to flip and flop every which way over time. I don't have the "perfect" marriage. Far from it. I continue to learn more about myself and about our relationship. We have had easy times and tough times. I have felt the greatest of highs and the lowest of lows over the course of these many years. I have had those moments of doubt and thought we were over. I don't doubt that I may feel that way again in the future. The difference is that as we continue to grow and build this relationship, when the low moments hit, we look for the solution. Giving up or quitting is less of an option. We have so much invested. We have weathered so much. But we have also had so much fun and laughed so hard! I think of the elements of relationships as threads. When you weave them all together you create a beautiful one-of-a-kind tapestry that no one else can replicate. With care and attention the tapestry gets stronger and holds together. If you stop paying attention to the details, the threads loosen and begin to unravel. The stronger your tapestry is, it will be able to weather the tough times.
Others know how smart my husband is and sing his praises, but I am his biggest fan. No matter what, I try to let him know that I always love and support him. We're a team. Our hearts beat as one.

Our marriage isn't perfect, but he is the perfect one for me!


Read Our Little Love Story Part I
Read Our Little Love Story Part II

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