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Monday, September 18, 2017

Is It Possible It's Been 16 Years?

#NeverForget #Sept11

We've had some busy moments around here and I'm a few days late getting my thoughts out. On September 11th I was in a somber mood. In a way I can't believe it has been 16 YEARS since our Nation was shaken to the core. Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday and sometimes it feels a lifetime ago. After the attacks, we all swore we would never forget. I'm not sure I ever could even if I tried. I usually watch the replays of the documentaries and footage. Seeing it still makes me cry. It brings it all back so fresh in my mind. This year I didn't have access to watch any of those, so I pulled up some articles to read and spent some time reflecting on those. The two article I chose were both quite long and they focused on the people that jumped (They are not technically referred to as "jumpers". The medical examiner and other officials say "those who fell", "were pushed" or "blown out of the buildings") . I saw this happening when I was watching everything unfold on that Tuesday morning, but they are not mentioned much now. I remember sobbing all day and every time another person was sailing down the side of the building, it would just take my breath away. I could only gasp and cry harder. I can not imagine the situation they were in. The desperation to get away from the smoke, flames and scorching heat. Then to fall for so long. They say on average, they fell for about 10 seconds. Now ten seconds doesn't sound like a long time, but when I close my eyes and try to imagine what they might have been seeing as I count ten seconds, my heart breaks. It's horrifying.

Even reading the stories of the people still brings me to tears so I had to take breaks from reading. I found myself just staring, but not seeing. I was somber and sad, but also thinking how incredible I found these stories. Some of the people are known, others are not. But something did ring true in reading the articles. We said we would not forget, but it seems this group of roughly 200 people have been relegated to the darker corners because they are thought of by some as suicides. I just kept thinking about how, against their will, they became victims of an attack on their Nation's home soil on a morning when they just thought it was just another day. They thought they had more tomorrows. On my breaks from reading I began to work on my latest art obsession, painting on rocks. I wanted to do something more cheerful, but my mind would not leave those people. I think most of my work comes out on the cartoony side, which is usually okay. But I had seen a depiction of the Tribute In Light that touched me. I have watched them light up the sky through live steams and my mind just went there. With ever stroke I was afraid I was going to make it look goofy and betray the feelings I had. I watched as the rock transformed and slowly I realized it wasn't looking goofy or like a cartoon. I know I am not a great artist or anything, but I was very pleased with how my Tribute Rock turned out. When I look at it, I know They are not forgotten. At least not by me.